This week, I was deeply saddened to read about a vicious attack on a gaming website that caters to homosexual gamers.
After a series of hate speech incidents and forum postings to GayGamer.net, the site was taken offline by a set of denial of service attacks. Flynn DeMarco, the site’s owner, said things started going wrong toward the end of last week until the site’s host, GoDaddy.com, finally took the site offline until the attacks could be stopped. They are currently attempting to get back online and hope to be finished by Monday.
A couple minutes in an Xbox Live Halo multiplayer session should give anyone an idea of why safe havens like GayGamer.net exist (along with Gaymer.org and Gamers.Experimentations.org), but for someone to go out of their way to attack the site is extreme. In the year since its existence, the news site and forum has given voice to issues that were previously rarely discussed. We share in Kotaku’s sentiment, where DeMarco is weekend editor, that “it’s sad to see that even in the virtual worlds of gaming and game coverage people decide that the only way they can express themselves is by attacking others.” GayGamer has sought to bring demographic inclusion into the industry and we hope to hear their voice back in the cacophony of these internets soon.
Luckily, GayGamer.net was back up and functional within a day, complete with an excellent post entitled What Comic Books Taught Me About Hatred:
Comics taught me a lot about how to deal with life. In some respects more than classical authors such as: Ovid, Boethius, Plato, Homer and Danielle Steel. I learned how to use misdirection and a spiffy pair of glasses to hide my True Identity™. I learned how to fall properly into radioactive goo so as to not get cancer and only get spiffy powers. I learned that from tragedy, with dedication, perseverance and tight spandex that I can teach my enemies to fear me.
Many of you know that our site has been down because of an attack. Which sucks, because I had a lot to write about Quakecon. But it gave me time to reflect on why these things happen and how I am supposed to react to it.
The most important lesson I learned from comics though relates to hatred. I learned that any group that is sufficiently different is a target for ignorance. Skin color, sexuality, mutant abilities, whatever the cause, if you are different, you will be hated. You see, gay people tend to love superheroes because we get it. We know what is like to hide your True Identity™. The need to blend in, the protection of banality. But it is a lie. We are different, and we’re hated because of it.
I also learned, largely due to Stan Lee, that the responsibility for dealing with hatred directed at me is in my hands. I could rant and rage and take matters into my own hands, like Magneto. In truth that probably could accomplish some good. Or, I could choose to be like Charles Xavier and the X-Men. I could choose to love and defend those people that hate me. This really isn’t altruism, in my opinion, it is about what I allow to consume me. I choose love over hatred.
I have no idea if they will catch whomever did this. In many respects I don’t care. But I can promise you this, if anyone anywhere hates me for what I am, my response is simple. Let’s go have coffee and talk. Explain to me where you’re coming from, and I will attempt to do the same. Its okay to disagree, and we’ll probably not change each others minds. But I will not react to hatred with more hatred, only love and coffee.
Amen to that.
I suppose what disturbs me most about all this is what is says about the gaming community. Masked from the eyes of society by internet anonymity, many people in the gaming community spew all types of hatred toward anyone that dares to challenge the current status quo - and even the specialized enclaves carved out to foster such conversations are at risk of flamers, trolls, and horrific attacks like the ones that felled GayGamer.net.
In order for gaming to move forward and become a cultural force, I feel like we as gamers have to be more willing to confront the blantant cruelty and the lack of civility that has become a hallmark of our community.
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